A word challenge from my writer’s group!

New CHALLENGE. Write a love poem or letter, by someone who is not human, to someone else (any species). Some things to consider might be how this species woos possible mates (any differently than humans?), a method of delivery, and how well the recipient likes it.

Anything from a dirty little note to a sweet melodic piece. Go ahead.

So here’s what I wrote:

Dear Gabe,

I saw you staring several times now and rumours have been flying for months now.  I know you find me completely fabulous and you certainly wouldn’t be wrong, but darling, I have many things to consider.  If you’re to be my trophy buddy, I can’t have you looking anything less than debonair!

You have great bone structure, not as awesome as mine, mind you, but definitely something to work with and I could enhance your appeal.  Of course, having me by your side will boost your appearance, but I can’t do everything, honey.  Regardless, I know what you’re looking for and I graciously accept your invitation.  However do keep in mind, my attention will wane as you know I’m not a one-man attraction.  I can’t very well deprive everyone from me now could I?  That wouldn’t be fair but I hope you realise your importance when I say you’ll definitely be in my top 5.  That isn’t a very easy spot to be in, you know?  Lots of people vie for that spot!

So what do you say?  Do you want to rise up in the dating pool or would you rather keep dating the frogs you call exes after a few rounds?

Fondly,

Alistair Silverleaf

And the Gabe character would be saying this:

Alistair, you arrogant but gorgeous fool!  What makes you think I’d want to be in your top five?!  Darling, I belong in the top 2!  Yes the rumours are true, I have been pining for you but don’t think for a moment that your beautiful face and dazzling smile will get you anywhere other than my bedroom.  I say we go a few rounds first and then decide what to do with the rest.  Even if you end up a frog, we could have so much fun together!  I don’t care if you decide to bed the whole kingdom, as you call it, as long as you end up in my bed tonight.  I have already thought of a few ideas which I think you would like.  It involves mirrors, I’m sure you love watching yourself in action as much as I like watching you out of it.  Now how about you take that pretty little butt of yours and bring it on over!

Kisses,

Gabe Entleman

Of course, Alistair would be super offended at being called a frog or told what to do, and he surely will make Gabe pay for his mistake but in a fun way.  They do, as Gabe suggested, go a few rounds.  Don’t worry, I won’t spoil those surprises here.  You have to read the story to find out how it all plays out and if Alistair ends up being a frog or if Gabe finally catches the ever bachelor Alistair.  You never know, stranger things have happened…  I’ve heard Half Elves go human even.  But not in this case, Alistair thinks too much of himself to ever go human.  If anything it’d be Gabe who’d have to change… After all, no mere human has ever been able to remotely even think they could possibly deny the request of the ever so alluring High Elf named Alistair.  Do you think a High Elf and a human mix well or would it be a  huge disaster after a while?

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Brooding, Mysterious, Sexy as hell male? Hmmm… That depends…

We’ve all see the TV shows and movies.  That mysterious sex god likes to brood.  He’s sexy as hell and girls can’t get enough of it.  He kind of looks, more or less, like this:

And well all eat it up like candy.  Both men and women just want to lick the dude top to bottom and all over.  We drool and we ache and we wonder… where IS this sexy male?  And why can’t we see one?!  Well… actually…we DO see them… all the time.

Most of the time we call those guys the anti social creepazoids in the corner and we’re GLAD they don’t want to talk to us.  They aren’t sexy, they’re just weirdos.  Am I right?   What am I talking about?!  Oh come on… you know I’m right!

It’s the dude in the corner that looks like this:And he doesn’t even have to be naked… you can just imagine he’s all hair and flab… or maybe he’s thin but his face is not that attractive or he’s the dude that always looks “pissed off” because he just looks weird/off somehow.   But the truth is, he’s probably a really nice guy but he’s one of the shyest guys you’ll ever meet.  So he’s off in the corner brooding, just like Mr. Sexy in the first photo, but because he doesn’t have that “smoldering stare off into space” we think he’s just some creepy guy or at best, a stuck up or stand offish one.   So what’s going on?

We’re shallow creatures.  Oh sure, we can SAY we’re not but the first thing we see is how a person looks.  You can swear to me up and down you don’t do this but you do.  That’s how we can tell if someone’s “good” or not so good.  If someone’s “trustworthy” or not.
This is why cute guys (and girls) get away with so much more crap that those who aren’t as esthetically endowed.  

The more symmetry a person has, the more appealing they look to us.  There has been studies on that and let’s be honest, it’s true.  Our eyes like symmetry.  Now there’s always that second level… I don’t care HOW hot a guy (or girl) is, if he’s an ass, he won’t be tolerated for long unless the other person has serious low self esteem or just likes being treated like crap.

But think about it… Mr. Player is NEVER an ugly guy and Ms gets around isn’t ugly either.  I’m not talking promiscuity necessarily.  I’m talking about who gets ogled the most and who can get away with more, should they know they are hot.  A lot of times you find those that are hot but don’t know it.  People might say you’re so pretty (or handsome!) Or you have gorgeous eyes (hair, smile, etc. etc.) but they think you’re just “being nice” to them.  Those are quite the gems aren’t they?

I mean seriously… would you kick this guy out of your bed?  I wouldn’t!  (If I were completely single I mean)

So next time you see that brooding “creepy” guy in the corner, ask yourself… is he really creepy or is it that he’s just not that attractive?  At my work we have two mysterious “brooding” guys.  One is very good looking and one wasn’t dealt the hot gene.  He’s not an ugly guy, but he’s not the most attractive person I’ve ever met.  He’s very sweet, but quite, keeps to himself a lot and comes off as anti social and sometimes he looks “angry” for no reason.  But he’s not that person at all.  And Mr. Hot guy?  Well he’s a nice guy too but it’s easier to say that when your eyes are full of glee.  Does he know he’s hot?  I’m not sure… but that isn’t the point.

The point is, I “fell in love” with the personality of Mr. hot guy a lot faster than with Mr. Average.  And that’s why I wrote this piece.  To remind you (and myself) that if you judge a book by it’s cover, you might end up losing a great story!  So let’s not do that.  Give everyone a chance.  You might make a nice friend or have a super sweet boyfriend (girlfriend) or even more!  Let’s get to the meat of that book before we decide whether or not we like it.   Until next time… I’m going to go find more “books” to read. 🙂